As I sit down to compose an entry for this week I find myself at a loss for words. My mind is going a mile a minute. What will they want to read about? I can't talk about that, can I? Does anybody really care? So I sit. Fingers tapping the counter top until the answer mercifully reveals itself and it couldn't be more simple. JUST WRITE!
This blog is for me. It's not because I'm special, I'm just me. Raw, open and honest. That's the best me and it's the me I want to share.
Most of us are guilty of spending too much time 'representing' an image. Caring just a tad too much about what 'they' have to say about the way we live. Fear of judgment can be crippling. You know it, I know it.
I spent nearly 15 years living one life but dreaming of another. Fears, all kinds of them, held me back. Fear of financial hardship, fear of failure, fear of hurting people, fear of being talked about, fear of being the bad guy. I gave those fears different names but they all had one thing at their core: judgement. It wasn't until a different kind of fear got bigger and louder than the fear of judgement, that I could finally step forward and live my truth.
So what was it? It was the fear of living the rest of my life in that fearful state. What would my life look like in 10, 15, 20 years if I was still living it according to other people's opinions? That sad image was enough to scare me into taking action.
Once I faced my fear of living in fear (trust me it was a process), the scary stuff didn't seem so daunting it just had to be done. Looking back now that s*#t was real, I don't know how I found the gumption to get through some very dark days and difficult changes in some relationships.
We all know life is not perfect all the time but months later, I have managed to find a true happiness deep inside myself that's not dependent on events or circumstance. It's just there and I have fear to thank.
Whatever fear is holding you back from what you truly want is only as strong as the power you give it. If you want to move forward find something that trumps that fear, something bigger, something that holds more consequence. Like me, you may find the real fright is in not facing what scares you. It won't be pretty in the beginning but if it leads you towards your best life at least it will be worth it.
Thank you for the warm welcome back to blogging. Your messages, post shares and honesty are a gift.
T.
Thanks Toby!
ReplyDelete